plz talk dirty to me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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