o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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