I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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