sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
