McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
