I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
