Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
