I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
