i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
PANTIES FOUND
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