why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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