just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
50% drunk capacity currently
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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