Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
