I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize