Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
