He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize