In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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