This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
