your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
