oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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