You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
