Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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