So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
