just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Shame is for Republicans.
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