Pappa wants mamma naked
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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