I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
