I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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