I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize