Nicole vs. Life
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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