everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize