You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
