I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
