You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You left your phone here
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