My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
