The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize