Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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