how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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