Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
