i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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