Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
