Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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