I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize