They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize