By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize