I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
