yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
