Just cropdusted the office
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
