"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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