it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
