'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
