Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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