You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
