I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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