Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
