Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
as a side note pls kill me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
