Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
