She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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