drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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