it hurts more in the daytime
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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