Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
