erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
