i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
