3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
PANTIES FOUND
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
