I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A+ Viking dick
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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