dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
