That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
