Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
