Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
