There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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